Now Listening To India Arie - Promises
So I attended my cousin’s wedding yesterday with my mom. Everyone was asking when am I going to get married. Almost shat in my kain, you know. I am one of the youngest cousins from my maternal side so when the older ones started getting hitched when I was about14, I did not really bat an eyelash thinking that I was still young (I even remembered telling everyone “I will not be marrying sorry to disappoint you guys”). Fast forward 8 years and I have bat all the eyelashes off my eyes watching my cousins slowly starting their own families. I am the next few in line that's why.
Pressure No. 1 - I still feel that I am too young. My parents has always emphasized on finishing my studies first and that is what I will do. I think. I am in the midst of applying for my degree right now and it will commence in July. I will then get to be a student all over again (yes!) for a year before the expected graduation. Correct me if I am wrong but as long as you do not have a satisfying career and paycheck or at least a stable job, why on earth are you even thinking of settling down.
Pressure No. 2 - Everyone is asking me when will it be my turn. The worst was the wedding I attended yesterday. I am considered to be of an acceptable age to start a family, some are married even before finishing their teenage years but hey, no judging because to each his own. To make matters worse, I have been in a serious relationship with Asraff for close to two years and they all have seen him on a few occasions so they will constantly ask when will it be our turn.
Pressure No. 3 - One less empty ring finger every other weekend. When I was in my teens, I have always wondered why jewelry shops are always empty. All their salespeople would be standing around awkwardly waiting for couples to enter. Every weekend, if it isn't one of my family members, my friends are the ones getting hitched. Now, I am wondering which brand I would be choosing for my engagement ring. Ah there I said it.
On what comes first - my studies are very important. I am happy that I still have the drive in me to continue upgrading myself. I believe that to live a very comfortable life, one must earn twice than what is considered enough. Besides, nowadays most people get engaged to just follow tradition or to flaunt their wealth and some even to "chope" their other halves. What the hell.
But having sat down with Asraff, I think that I am ready. He feels that we are ready, gosh. I was surprised that he was the one who approached the topic ever so confidently. He even decided on October of this year to make our birthdays (which coincidentally fall on the same day each year) more memorable! This year will be our third time celebrating too. We decided to skip the entire traditional engagement hooha because it is totally unnecessary (plus more money for a lavish wedding and honeymoon hehe). Just an exchange of rings as a promise and announcing the news to our close family members and friends!
7 months to properly plan for the next step in our relationship and to continue on with our savings for the future. In sha Allah.
On a side note;
1. Submitting my resignation tomorrow (at last I can start focusing on my Uni application)
2. Minus all weekends, public holidays and cleared leaves - 20 working days to go!
3. And Jakarta with my parents and Asraff in 5 days weehoo